Pride Goeth Before the Fall

Jump to Comments

Forgive me a small showing of pride, but I’ve been quoted! http://www.globalvoicesonline.org/2008/02/13/egypt-on-winning-the-african-cup-of-nation-ghana-2008/

This blog-compilation site quoted my reactions to Egypt’s victory in the same breath as the BBC. Nifty, if I do say so myself.

In other news, my mother sent me an email the other day cautioning me to “respect the people of my adopted country.” At first I laughed, thinking that I who had studied Egypt, Islam, and Arabic to a moderate extent could never knowingly disrespect anyone here. My goal is, after all, to change the world’s impression of Americans.

Unfortunately, it’s those unintentional instances that get you.

I dance. When I say that, I mean that I go salsa dancing on weekends in Boston and last summer I learned Middle Eastern dancing at my summer Arabic intensive in Middlebury, Vermont. I discovered I had hips, learned how to move them, and went from there. I got over most of that inhibiting shyness that delineates the quiet-but-secretly-passionate wall-flowers from confident dancers.

So yesterday, when I was surprised not only by a party with free food (awesome) but a DJ with Arabic music. Of course I had to dance. If I could summarize the general reaction, it was one of surprise. “White girls dance like THAT?” I spent most of my time dancing with a group of girls, because frankly it’s more fun. I made a lot of new friends, some of them Egyptian, relationships I’ve been trying to figure out how to cultivate since arriving.

Somehow, I ended up spending the bulk of my time on the floor in the center of a circle of onlookers, basically performing for everyone else. Boys took a knee and clapped, girls cheered. It was pretty liberating.

At the point where I was joined by two other girls (who I think are more skilled than I on the dance floor), I ran head-on into a cultural barrier.

People were throwing money at me.

Of course, in America, this is a huge insult. I don’t need to explain what it implies. I stopped, my mouth probably agape, I’m not really quite sure. I felt as though the floor had been pulled out from under me and could feel the burning sensation of shame and anger grow in the pit of my stomach where formally there had only been my free dinner. I felt cheap, used, humiliated. Dancing is one of my few public expressions where I let down my defenses. Those paper bills cut through my exposed psyche like machetes.

I wasn’t off kilter for long. I threw the money back at the boys and told them to show some respect (in Arabic). What did they think? I was some easy American girl that had learned that  kind of dancing to seduce somebody? Livid, I surrounded myself with girls for the rest of the night and eventually allowed myself to enjoy their company and dancing.

I asked my Egyptian friends afterward what it meant. There are several different interpretations, I found. My Arabic teacher this morning said in rural areas, money is thrown had higher-parties (weddings, engagements, etc.) as a genuine compliment and respect for talent. At night clubs, it’s called ‘nuqta’ and means something more along the lines of the American conception of money-throwing. So where does a student, school-run party fall? I’m not quite sure. I’d like to think the best of my fellow students. Verbal compliments were always completely appropriate throughout the evening. “Very professional!” “Where did you learn to do that? You’re great!”. People came up asking for lessons (I was taken aback). So maybe I can believe that the money was a compliment.

But caution in a circumstance that is still new and foreign is a prudent idea. A seed of doubt has been planted in my mind, and maybe I should let it grow for a little while.

2 Comments

Filed under Uncategorized